Search

From my heart to yours #1

I try, I try hard.


I try to sleep, I try to wake up.


I try to play, I try to run.


All these things, I try to do.


I think I put in a lot of me, but I also know I didn’t.


I think I can do it, but also know I can’t.


Waking up every day, answering questions

Is everything okay?


The answer isn’t no, it’s I don’t know.


I don’t, I wish I knew.


It’s strange

It’s been a long time since I felt an emotion truly


I laugh but I don’t, I cry but I don’t.


I shout but inaudibly, I speak but words don’t come out.


I don’t know how this began, I can’t say what happened.


I can’t blame a person or place,

But slowly and gradually,

I have started to drown.


And I don’t know how to swim.


Sometimes I wish I knew, but other times, I don’t care.


Oh yes, I do have people who love me

And I love them back,


They ask me what they could do to help,

But I don’t know what I need help for.


Surely, something has changed.


Something which doesn’t fit in.


Something I can’t speak, hear or even feel.


I want to seek help, but I am so afraid to talk.


I don’t know what I might say

What I might reveal.


Who might get to know, who might make fun.


And to be honest, I wonder whom I can approach.


They will probably think it’s just a heart break,

Or just an exam result .


Or just an accident.


But I know it’s more than that.


It’s more than what I can say,

It’s more than they can hear.


Maybe I am just afraid,

Yes that is it.


I am just afraid that they will get to know.


They will listen and tell.


They will talk, share, show sympathy.


And I don’t want that.


Cuz they don’t care.


And I know that.


I think they call this depression, I am not sure.


If only it was easier to speak out aloud,

If only it was easier to talk than to write.


I think it would be easier.



I don’t believe, I think.



218 views

Recent Posts

See All

Tell me what you want to read next.